Should you knew that you just had solely a short while left to dwell, how would you spend it?
That’s the query Nikki Boyer poses initially of Dying for Sex — a captivating, six-part podcast. Concluding March 11, the sequence follows the wild sexcapades of Boyer’s finest good friend, Molly, who was recognized with Stage four terminal breast most cancers at 41.
Upon receiving the devastating information, Molly — who’d battled breast most cancers as soon as earlier than, in 2011 — leaves her unsatisfying marriage to discover her sexuality and gas her dwindling vitality.
“Sexually, we had difficulties before cancer came along [the first time],” Molly, whose final title is being withheld for privateness causes, says of her marriage. “Right before I got diagnosed, I was kind of looking to recharge our sex life . . . and then cancer showed up.”
They by no means obtained again on observe after her first spherical of therapies, which consisted of a double mastectomy, radiation, chemotherapy and reconstructive surgical procedure. Nonetheless, they stayed collectively — till Molly’s second analysis.
Her new medicine got here with some surprises. Not like chemo and radiation, it didn’t ravage her physique. In reality, when you didn’t know Molly, you wouldn’t know she was sick.
The meds additionally put her libido in overdrive.
“I was horny all the time,” she says. “[My body] needed to be touched.”
So she left her husband — and catapulted herself into the courting scene, a sequence of adventures and misadventures that she shares along with her finest good friend on the present. Like a “Sex and the City” brunch with chemo as a substitute of Cosmos, the pair candidly gab about Molly’s conquests: the Ryan Reynolds lookalike who’s into masochism, the at-home therapeutic massage with an unintentional comfortable ending, a clumsy automobile romp with a man who couldn’t comprise — or preserve — his enthusiasm, and the mortician she made out with whereas he was in full clown make-up. In a single episode, the pair tries to depend the variety of suitors in Molly’s cellphone. They stop at 183.
“Sex,” Molly says, “makes me feel alive — and it’s a great distraction from being sick.”
“She’s sexually and emotionally open and nonjudgmental,” Boyer tells The Submit of her finest good friend. The pair met 20 years earlier in a New York Metropolis performing class. “She said [the dates] were helping her feel alive. She was reclaiming her body.”
Boyer says the thought for the podcast got here at some point in 2018, when she picked up Molly for lunch at midday.
“I said, ‘Why do you look really cute?’ She said she had already been on two dates,” says Boyer, who explains that the meds additionally disrupted her sleeping habits, making her get up on the first light — and giving her extra time thus far. “One guy had gotten in from the night before and they met for coffee at 6 a.m. And she had breakfast with the next guy. I said, ‘There’s a story in here’ . . . Sex and illness are rarely discussed together.”
Molly jumped on the likelihood to speak about her expertise — even when she typically needed to cancel recording classes as a result of she couldn’t get off the lavatory ground.
On the podcast, Molly’s well being points are dealt with with darkish humor — a balm for audio system and listeners towards most cancers’s harsh bodily realities. In a single episode, Molly explains why she allowed some males she met on-line to come back to her house. “What are you going to do to me? Kill me? I’m dying.”
They converse freely on the podcast of her medical therapies, her diminishing lung capability and the blood clots that landed her within the hospital whereas doubling the scale of her leg. However Molly by no means reveals her fragile medical state of affairs to any of her dates — or her different buddies.
“Telling her story [on the podcast] was important because she didn’t want her identity to be cancer and walk into a room to have people say, ‘How are you?’ She kept it a secret,” says Boyer, an actress who additionally co-hosts the podcast “Straight Talk With Ross Mathews.”
The subject material may be express and takes unlikely twists. Though intercourse is the entry level, it’s not the climax of the sequence.
“It’s not just about the sex,” Boyer says. “It’s about healing old wounds and coming to terms with what is happening to her. Sex, for her, was not the endgame.”
“Dying for Sex” can be a celebration of feminine friendship within the face of the unthinkable. The pair’s mutual love and devotion is what the youngsters these days name “goals.”
In the end, Boyer needs others to be impressed by Molly’s journey.
“Folks can suppose all day about what they might do, however you by no means know what life will throw at you and the way you’ll react . . . What’s in your bucket record? What do you need to dwell for?
“My hope is that individuals nurture their relationships,” Boyer says. “Don’t wait for someone to tell you they’re dying.”